I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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