So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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