My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
