Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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