She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
