I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
