shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
