Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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