why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
