Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
