Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
