Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
