Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
