Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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