but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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