I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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