with your own penis?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
