He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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