Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
