i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
