There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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