Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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