Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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