Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
