I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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