I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
