Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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