so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
