If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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