called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
