I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
