Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
