I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
