i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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