he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
