dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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