brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
