last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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