Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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