I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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