More tranny stories later!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize