He kissed a someone with a penis
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
