Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
