Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish I only lived at night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
