fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
