you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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