No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
