u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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