Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
