Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
