Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
