so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
