So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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