well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize