He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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