I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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