Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
