Sry I called you an 8
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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