I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
