Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize